Life in the Soupbowl: December 2007

Monday, December 31, 2007

Contemplating writing a book

I've always had this nagging desire in my soul to someday write a book. Ever since I could talk, I was dictating books to my family, drawing the pictures, and writing sappy drama -filled stories about orphans and crazy stories in my E.T. notebook. I had the chance to write a short story in 7th grade, which I still own, and I also have a few notebooks of short stories that literally make me cringe when I re-read them.
Lately, I've wanted to write again. Something interesting. Something I know. I played with the idea of writing a children's book, or even a picture book about the adventures of Tboy and Sassy, wonder pets. But in the last few weeks, this thought has been in the back of my mind. I should write about what I know. And what I do know, very well, is infertility, and I know it from a need-for-an-egg donor perspective. Plus, the story of Mooshie and I is pretty interesting to people, or say I've heard.
I don't know. Should I? How should I? Any ideas? Any tips? Any thoughts? All I know is that when CJ and I were getting into the whole IVF and donor egg route of things, I was not able to find very many books upon my searches for couples like me.
Hmm. Just thinking out loud.

Cousin-ly loves

Mason and Abby were over the other night, and Keifer had a ball with her 2 big cousins. We managed to get a good picture of the 3 of them cuddled up on the couch, where the older two were watching "Ratatouille".

Cousin Abby thinks the world of our girl

Abby had some crazy hair after her day with the extended day program.

Ya like K's new chair? It was a Christmas gift from Nana Dian and Papa Dale

Nana Marge reading to her 2 favorite girls in the whole world; can you see Keifer's peacock hair? LOL

Yoga baby

Side planks, anyone? Side triangles? Cobra? LOL. Our Keifer girl wants to be on the move so bad, but is having a difficult time sitting up and moving, or getting herself to crawl forward. Instead, she'll push herself backwards, or lie on her side and twist, trying to get to her intended target. It looks very much like she's doing yoga poses, so I sometimes call her my "yoga baby". And as you may be able to see in some of the pictures, the yoga poses don't always calm her down - in fact, she usually gets very frustrated with herself. I tell her to give it time, because soon enough, those yoga poses will be giving way to a little scooter soon enough.

Friday, December 28, 2007

Christmas Pages, Christmas Pages

Whew, it's hard to believe its all over. The hustle and bustle of Christmas. It felt like it was here and gone in a flash. Keifer had no idea what was going on, but we all sure had fun spoiling her. CJ and I packed the kids and the SUV up and took off for our Christmas Eve celebration on Monday AM, but the snow (and subsequent accidents) slowed us down, so we were late. But that didn't mean the food wasn't wonderful and it was fun to see my mom's family. There seemed to be an empty hole throughout the whole day, especially since we were in a room down the hall from my Papa and Grandma's Assisted living home - the Grandma that just passed away. So it seemed quieter than usual, as expected as it was. We then went home and did our family celebration, and Keifer didn't seem all that enthused, except when she had holiday wrapping paper, gift tags, and gift bags to chew on. LOL. Next year, I predict a bigger reaction.

Here she is with her Papa reading to her and cousin Aubrie

Aubrie and Keifer, both not too interested in posing for us

Our family picture minus the fur kids this year. Seems like it was just this, (from last year) and now, here she is!

Me and my look alike cousin, Becky (Aubrie's mommy)

Keifer was enthralled with her Uncle Darren's facial hair

See? Tags and bags! LOL

One of K's new gifts was a stuffed doggie with a detachable wig! She gave us all a good laugh! Do you see a future party girl? Uh oh!

Cuddling with Great-Auntie Jeanne (and digging the snowmen on her sweater)

K was a bit confused when her Great-Uncle Danny had her - he is a clone of her Papa, but he has facial hair

Cheese grin: she loves her new Laugh and Learn Kitchen (even though she can only reach the roller thingie so far)

That's all for now. We have a million pictures, but that was a good sampling!

Side sleeper

Our girl has become a side sleeper - not by choice, I don't think, but by circumstance. Because she is so roly-poly in her crib now, I think she just happens to fall asleep, be it on her side or sometimes on her tummy, with her little face squished against the mattress (freaking daddy out, but making mama smile). Hey, whatever works! What I can't figure out is how the hell she manages to turn around completely every morning, with her head where her feet are when she goes to bed? She is a Houdini, I swear! At least *knock on wood* we don't have to worry about her climbing up just yet! I'm sure that will bring another new set of headaches with it! HA!

And...here's our Princess helping out her daddy the other day - holding the hangers for him to hang up his clean clothes! She's already a super helper! LOL

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

So excited!

Great Grandma Hanson got K a new stuffed animal and K went CRAZY with excitement! It was a hoot to watch her - she got so excited she could barely breathe! Kick kick kick!

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books

Patty Cake skillz

Keifer's latest "trick" is the ability to do patty cake, after only watching us do it with her a few times. She's a Genius! LOL. Watch her tongue- the past few days she has been sticking it out all. the.time.

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Happy Christmashannukahkwanza!

Happy Christmashannukahkwanza!!!!

We're at Papa & Nana's right now; more to come soon!

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Juno

I went last evening to see Juno (yes, my treat is my movies alone, as I've said before). I loved it. It took me about 5 minutes to get used to the snappy dialogue, but once I was immersed in it, I really enjoyed it. I won't say that I wasn't somewhat hurt by the whole premise of it (16 year old gets PG on her first attempt at being sexually active), but the story itself was bittersweet, and was very well done, and I enjoyed the soundtrack.

I really enjoyed Jason Batman and Jennifer Garner in this movie, as a potential family for Juno's baby-to-be. I realized, once again, that as adorable as Jennifer is, how big her ears are. LOL. A fact tidbit: the writer lived here in Minneapolis, and the whole movie was filled with references to cities I know.
Anyhoo, I ended up crying tears at the end (I won't spoil it and say what kind of tears), but I wholeheartedly recommend this movie for anyone looking for a cute, bittersweet, lovey comedy.
I should also add that last year, I read the memoir by the movie's author, Diablo Cody, called "Candy Girl", and it was a fun, informative, interesting read about the night life of living as a stripper for a year. She is quite a hoot. Yeah, I felt a little awkward checking it out of the library, but it WAS on the best seller list.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

My Auntie Katie visited today

Mommy's longtime friend, Katie Jo, visited today. She hasn't seen K since June, and it was a fun afternoon eating out together and sharing stories (however unexciting they seem to be these days! LOL). She thinks K is one HAPPY girl! We love and miss you mucho, Auntie Katie!

Ripping off bear's paw in my book - Oops!

The girls

Carrie Lynn & Katie Jo: Longtime friends

Now :

And then: (wow, what a difference 2 1/2 years can make!)

This is one of my fave pics: getting ready to go rock it at a tent party! LOL. I just like the set up of us and the puppers. And I'm also in awe that I once was that skinny (HA!)

A family in pictures

Matching PJ cousins

Treble tries to get in on the action (or is he playing bodyguard to K?)

Close up

Auntie Auntie reads Aubrie's new book to her about her and baby "Keeser"

Tboy resting

Resting with his sissy, Sage

Nana is fun - like my shirt?

Nana says I'm her favorite charity this season, so who needs the big guy in Red?

Friday, December 21, 2007

Friday funny: Kids say the Darndest things

This weekend, I'll be able to upload some pictures of Keifer and her cousin, Aubrie, from our visit the other day (for the funeral). Aubrie didn't come to the funeral, and her mommy didn't let her know Keifer was in town until the last minute because she gets so impatient and excited to go and see "baby Keeser" when she knows she's here. When Aubrie walked in the door on Wednesday evening to my parents house, she immediately RUSHED to Keifer's side, hugged and kissed her and didn't stop laughing or talking for a full 10 minutes. In my life, I've never seen a child more excited to see a baby ever. Ever. It is the most heartwarming thing to watch. And Keifer just loves it. I got some good pictures of the girls in their matching PJ's the other night. My mom (Aubrie's "Auntie Auntie") got Aubrie the same PJ's that Keifer has. Because Keifer has pretty much outgrown them, and Aubrie forgot her own PJ's the other night, my mom gifted them to her early. She loved it.

I also gave Aubrie part of her Christmas present early. This girl LOVES her books, just as much as Keifer does. Aubrie will sit and leaf through all her books and "read" them to herself. I got her some awesome new ones for her collection, and my favorite gift to her was a Snapfish Photo book that I made for her. Because she is always (always!) talking about Baby Keeser and their adventures together every night, I put together all the pictures I had of them together up until October and wrote it in a "book" format, about meeting Baby Keifer at the hospital and up to now. She loved it. She watched as my Aunt read it to her , soaking it in, and then she read it to my mom. I was in heaven watching her love it.

Now on to the Friday Funny: My cousin Becky and my mom shared this with me the other day, and I just had to document this, because it's just too hysterical not to.
A few weeks ago, Becky was blow drying her hair after a shower, and Aubrie was in the bathroom with her. Becky had not gotten dressed yet, and Aubrie was checking out her mommy's body. She was studying Becky's breasts, and she pointed at them, and asked her mom: "Mommy, are those your elbows?". Becky said she was speechless, and just continued on her way. LOL.
My mom was there when Becky was telling me this story, and she told a story I had never heard before about my brother. When Darren was little,he was hanging over the edge of the bathtub while my mom was taking a bath (because my mom says she never had ANY privacy), and he pointed at her breasts, and asked what they were. My mom told him, "those are my breasts", and my brother promptly asked, "how do you put them on?".

The cousins, back in October

We're back

CJ, Keifer, myself and our fur kids got back into town yesterday afternoon after my Grandma's funeral. It was an emotional day on Wednesday, saying good bye to her for good. The service was nice and quite a few family friends showed up to pay their respects. It was very emotional for us, but at the same time, nice to enjoy memories about my special Grandma with my loved ones, and seeing my family that I might not see in the next few months. I even got to visit with my Sixth Grade teacher (he went to church with my grandparents). That was fun.

We got home yesterday, unloaded the car (it's amazing how much I packed for just 2 nights away), and turned around for Keifer's daycare's party. Elaine and her hubby hosted quite the party - complete with the real life Santa Claus! Keif was up past her bedtime, but she seemed to enjoy the party and it was fun for CJ and I to meet the other parents, and watch how much all the kids love Elaine and how many of her former kids were there, too. Keifer did so well last month on Santa's lap, but when Santa called our her name and asked for her to come see him, CJ had to carry her and sit on his lap with Keif on HIS lap. LOL. Keifer was not happy - she ended up getting scared and started crying. She got a really cute (her first!) baby doll from Santa and a Rainbow Fish board book (which she promptly had to 'read' right there on Daddy's lap afterwards. We weren't able to stay for the snacks/food, but a good time was had. Poor Elaine had such a good time she overslept this AM. And because my head is in la-la land these days, I forgot our camera and didn't get any pictures of Keifer with her friends or with the real life Santa Claus. *sigh*

checking out my new baby doll - so gentle until I try to bite her arm off!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Remembering Grandma

Virginia Dora Whitney Kucinski, 85, of Westberg Rd. passed away on Sunday, Dec. 16, 2007 in her home. She was born on June 25, 1922 to Clyde and Bertha (Metcalf) Whitney in Bayfield, Wis., in her home. Her childhood was busy and a lot of fun. She liked to work on her dad's farm, loved climbing the big trees, enjoyed riding bikes, horse back riding and playing with her sister and two brothers. At the age of eight, she made her first trip to Minnesota and slept in a tent. At the age of 16 her father taught her how to drive and she received her driver's license for the cost of twenty five cents. Virginia's first job was at the age of 16. She did house work for a couple of women in Duluth. In 1940 she started college at U.M.D. and completed her two year course in Pre-Nursing and Chemistry. During her years at U.M.D. she worked in the girls' dormitory, cleaning and kitchen detail. Virginia married Richard 'Dick' Kucinski on Aug. 9, 1942 in Cleveland, Ohio. Dick served in the U.S. Army Air Corps and they traveled a lot. Virginia was a very devoted wife and mother to her five children. She loved cooking, baking and spending time with her children. During her children's grade school years, she helped the school nurse. She was a longtime member of Westminster Presbyterian Church and was active in the Women's Circle. Her church and friends were very important to her. She is survived by her husband Dick; her children, Joe Kucinski of Mesa, Ariz., Dian (Dale) Hanson of Duluth, Barbara Kivisto of Island Lake, Rick (Ann) Kucinski of Esko, Minn., and Kim (Nancy) Kucinski of Superior, Wis.; sister, Jessie (Bert) Westman; brother, Thomas (Vicky) Whitney of Superior, Wis.; 14 grandchildren, 22 great grandchildren as well as many other nieces and nephews. She was dearly loved by all who knew her and will be greatly missed. VISITATION:10 a.m. Wednesday until the 11 a.m. Funeral Service in Sunrise Funeral Home. Entombment Sunrise Mausoleum. Arrangements are by Sunrise Funeral Home Hermantown, MN.

Drugs, anyone?

I honestly feel like I am on drugs today. It is the weirdest feeling, I almost feel like I did when I had Keifer and was sleep deprived. I guess hormones, stress, and grief can do that to a body.

Last night, I was trying to find something somewhat nice (aka not a sweatshirt and jeans) to wear to the funeral tomorrow, even just a simple sweater would do. Nothing. Nada. Everything I have from pre-PG, well, it makes me look like a sausage squeezing into a casing. It's awful. And no, I'm not exaggerating. Even CJ gave me the "look", like "poor you", and said, "well, you look like you have big jugs". *eyebrows raised*. That's a guy for ya.

Another note, I had to do a observation at a Head Start yesterday afternoon. I love watching the kids run around and learn and interact with each other. During my observation, I usually sit off to the side of the room, and most times, the kids will come up to me, wondering who I am and what is my name.

A little girl came up to me yesterday, and I smiled at her.

She paused, and then said, "why are you crying?". I stopped, shocked, and a little jolt went through my body when she said this.

"I'm not crying, I smiled at you. Do I look like I'm crying?" I asked.

"Yes," she replied.

Then she grabbed her paper airplane from off the floor and ran off to play with her friends.
I had the chills after that. She could "feel" my grief. Maybe she could see inside my soul. What an intuitive little soul she is.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Female post ahead: major talk (beware if you are a male!)

When it rains depressing -news weather, it pours.

I went to my OB Nurse Practitioner (Addie) today, because I've been having crazy, whack AF (Aunt Flo) cycles since I had Keifer in April. I bled for the average amount of time for her, and had two back-to-back 30 day cycles. I started charting again, because Lord knows that "since my body was 'tricked' into having a baby, maybe I'd get lucky and be able to have one on my own". Um, yeah, ain't gonna happen. Addie thinks I'm Anovulatory, which would make perfect sense, because I've been having anywhere from 12 day cycles from start to finish, to 53 day cycles, complete with a major amount of heavy-duty brownish/black spotting in between there.

Unfortunately, this is my body without drugs.

When I was 16, I was put on the pill (birth control, that is) because of whack cycles and had to stay on it in order to maintain regularity with my AF. When CJ and I started TTC, I never thought I'd have to be a major junkie (to fertility meds) to even have a baby. Drugs to stimulate ovaries and try, drugs to suppress my own ovaries to try. Up and down. Sticks and pokes and swallows. This sucks. It sucks majorly. (*sigh*). Three years, and one donor egg cycle later, we were blessed with our Keifer girl. But my body has apparently developed a sick co-dependency type relationship with those fertility drugs; ahh, you estrogen, you progesterone, you stimulating hormone drugs, you. My body doesn't' seem to want to work for me when I really want it to in the worst way. And yeah, we plan on going back next Spring for more baby stuff, most likely with an anonymous donor, but shit, I didn't want to have to consider going on the Pill NOW in this stage of the game. I've gained and lost and then gained enough weight to keep me happy for now, thank you very much. *sigh again*.

So I left a message for non-to-reliable coordinator at my fertility clinic letting them know the stats on my crazy-ass body and what do they want me to do aka which birth control pill?

And the icing on the crappy cake for this week? Oh yeah, after 3+ years of CHRONIC Bacterial Vaginosis infections, it's back. I suspected as much last month when I thought I had a UTI, but I didn't. The symptoms are like this with me (feels like a developing UTI). *sigh for the third time* So back on antibiotics and anti-yeast drugs (because the meds always make me develop a sweet little yeast infection).

It's Monday? I feel like I living in a dream world today, stumbling around like a crazy girl, getting all these shitty bits of news from every which way I turn. Seriously, I had to ask CJ what day it was and did I truly work today? It seemed like eons ago.

The happy part of my day? Keifer and the puppers, of course. Thank God for my joys. And my CJ, of course. He's currently upstairs wrestling a half-naked, freshly washed squiggle worm into her pajamas and putting her to bed, so I can clean the kitchen and eat.

More milestones

Two "new" things that K has been doing:

1) Last Friday, on our drive home, we have to take a major freeway. She usually is either talking to the baby in the mirror, jabbering away, or looking out the window. For the life of me, I wonder what she sees from her perspective. Anyhoo, on Friday, a loud semi-truck went rolling by me on my driver's side. I saw K in the mirror: she had heard the truck and cranked her head to the right to look and was watching it as it went by us. I was impressed that she heard it and turned, and saw it and continued to look at it for a length of time.

2) This AM for the first time ALONE, our girl waved bye bye to me as I left her at Elaine's (daycare). Elaine holds her arms and waves them everyday, and it's finally caught on. Our girl is growing too fast.

3) G'ma's visitation and funeral are this Wednesday, so CJ and I will be packing up the kids (human and fur) tomorrow afternoon for our road trip up. We'll be back on Thursday, I think.